


We Almost Had it All

by Ridamna



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Other, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-18
Updated: 2012-01-18
Packaged: 2017-10-29 18:38:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/322915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ridamna/pseuds/Ridamna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor came to accept one fact – he would be the one to bury them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Almost Had it All

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Пожалуй, у нас было всё](https://archiveofourown.org/works/548064) by [silber_mond](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silber_mond/pseuds/silber_mond)



Thor always considered Loki to be the first. It had been a cold November day when he just vanished, when he looked down at Thor mid-fight and just vanished. For weeks they waited for an attack, but nothing came. After a year of waiting, Tony declared Loki to be dead. It was a simple matter that no one dwelt on; no one except for Thor. He knew better. Loki had not simply limped off to die somewhere alone. Thor mourned the loss of his Brother, a week of storms plagued the city and Thor wept. No one spoke to him; no one else shed a tear for Loki.

Life continued, as it does, and soon there was another threat to call the Avengers together. Although they fought with great strength and valour, they were still mortals and Thor came to accept one fact – he would be the one to bury them all. It would be another five years before death would grace them again.

 

Another battle came and went and they stood victorious, covered in dust and blood with adrenaline pumping in their veins. In those moments they felt unstoppable, but they were not. No one heard the gun until it was too late. Hawkeye jerked forward and tried to steady himself. Natasha was already running towards him as blood began soak his vest; she caught him before he hit the ground. She was speaking to him quickly. No one heard what she said to him and no one asked her about it after. She kissed him once he was gone.

They mourned Clint longer than they would the rest; he had been the first and the hardest to deal with. The days leading up to his funeral they all talked about his life; how he had been a great teammate, how he had died too soon. It was Natasha who informed Coulson of Clint's death. The two talked for a long while and remained away from the group until Clint's funeral.

 

Bruce was the next to go, three months after Clint. The illness took him slowly; it started with a shaking hand and ended with him in a bed, surrounded by people he no longer recognized. Gamma radiation was killing him. One night, on one of his good days, he laughed and told them it should have killed him years ago and sometimes he wished it had, but he was lucky to have known all of them. It did not get better after that.

Two months and he was gone. His mind went first; he started forgetting where he was, who he was. The worst was when he forgot Clint was dead. He would ask them where he was. With grim smiles they would tell him that Clint was on a mission. The last two weeks, Bruce was confined to his bed and kept sedated. He spent his last days staring up at the ceiling. They gathered on his last day, taking turns telling him about his life and all the great things he had done. Bruce simply smiled at them, thinking it all to be nothing but fiction.  
They buried him in the cold of February. There were no great goodbyes, just nods and murmurs of how great he had been. They drank until they were numb. Tomorrow they would rise and fight again.

 

Agent Coulson said he would never retire; he couldn't see himself living without S.H.I.E.L.D. and he assumed he would die before he could retire. It was during the late summer of 2022 when he disappeared. Rumours spread; half were convinced that Fury had had him killed, the other half said he had killed himself, and there were the people who said Coulson had sold his S.H.I.E.L.D. knowledge to the highest bidder. Tony was the first one to punch an agent who said that; no one stopped him. Early 2023, they found him. Everything said had been wrong. For almost a year, Coulson had been held captive, had been abused and tortured. He smiled when they found him, told them he was wondering what took them so long.  
They all knew he was not going to live; no one told him because he already knew. His death was quick and painless. He was buried in the rain, and though no one admitted it, they were lost without him. Immediately after his death, S.H.I.E.L.D. sent in a replacement. He didn't last long and neither did the next or the one after. No one could replace Coulson. Time passed and they learned to work without him, but things were never quite the same.

 

Natasha fought until her last breath, the only way she knew how to die. It was cold and snow covered the ground when they were attacked. When it was over, the snow was stained a deep crimson, no one was left standing and Natasha was dead. Her body was wrapped in sheets and flown back home with them. They drank to her memory, but didn't speak about her life. It was better that way.

 

Steve and Thor noticed when Tony began to slow but neither said anything; how could they? His suit began to take more damage and he struggled to keep up with repairs. The three found themselves sitting in silence more and more. They would make eye contact, smile and go back to nothing. They did not stay up drinking or boasting about who was better, they simply enjoyed what time they had left with each other.

They both watched Tony Stark die, watched Iron Man fall. Tony didn't move when the weapon fired. Before he died, Thor saw him turn to Steve, and then he was gone. A terrible crack echoed and then nothing. The city nearly stopped when it was announced that Iron Man had died. The suit was destroyed and a replica placed as a memorial. For days, people visited Iron Man's grave, left flowers and said prayers, all for Iron Man. No one cared that Tony was gone; only the God of Thunder and the First Avenger paused for his death.

 

Both retired after that, wearily, from a life of fighting and loss. The city would remain protected by the next generation of Avengers ready to fight. Thor often wondered when the first member of their team would die, when they would change and when it would tear them apart. They were so young, like they had been, unprepared for what was to come.

Steve and Thor moved away from the city, from its problems and from its memories. Time caught up with Steve; after ten years of a peaceful life, he began to wake in the night, screaming. Thor watched him become a shell of what he once had been. One morning, not long after the nightmares started, Thor woke to find the house empty. He didn't look for Steve; he already knew. Two days later, Steve's body washed up on the cold shore. Thor couldn't remember when Steve had looked more at peace. People hated him for what he did, called him a coward, but he wasn't; he was simply a tired man who had given everything for his country.  
He was buried with the rest; the First Avenger finally laid to rest. There was no one with Thor at the funeral, no one else to talk about Steve's life, no one at all. For the first time, since Loki, he cried.

"Oh Brother," a hand came to rest on his shoulder. Loki. "Rest now; it's over."

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've posted in several years. Thanks to the wonderful SidneySussex for editing it so quickly and generally fangasming with be about these sort of things.
> 
> Title from "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele, I listened to her a lot while writing this.


End file.
